But I can't stop crying. I start Birth Control Pills today for our IVF cycle. I thought this post was going to be how freaking ironic it is that I have to take birth control to get pregnant. Not today. I am blogging in tears instead.
We got horrible news today from the doctor that the meds Mr. Scuba was taking are no longer working and the pituitary has shut down and the testicles have given up. We took him off the meds and are hoping against all odds that maybe without the meds we will get some random reset and somehow start seeing sperm again.
My work environment has become almost unbearable. We really need the money, but I am just not sure how much I am willing to put up with anymore. Mr. Scuba thinks that it is time for me to put in my resignation even without another job. I would love nothing more, but I may have another offer coming soon and I think I am going to wait to see if I get that job. Either way, I think I need to spare myself the stress during my IVF cycle. I don't know how it is going to happen, but I need to figure it out soon.
We have been trying to sell our house for 2 years now and even though we had a showing today, we still can't get it sold. I am going insane. I am so tired of living in this house with all the burglaries and drive-by shootings. I am so ready to move on, but we can't move on from even this!
My sanity really needs something to break. I don't know what, but something needs to give. I really hope it's the kid, but honestly a lot needs to give right now. I just don't know how much more I can take.
Even though this day has sucked and am still trying to be as excited as possible about beginning our IVF journey!!
Good luck with the beginning of the IVF journey!
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