Odd Way of Coping

I have started noticing my very odd way of coping with friends telling me that they are pregnant. So far the pattern is I avoid them completely and then in guilt for feeling jealous and avoiding them, I knit their unborn child a blanket. I have no idea how this is helping anything. Maybe it helps me believe that they won't notice that I have been avoiding them or feel bad about it if I knit them a blanket. Maybe it is the only way that I can show I still love them and care about them and still maintain my sanity. Well, regardless of why, here is the new blanket for the pregnant friend who swore for years that she would never have a child because she couldn't stand what it would do to her body:

On the plus side, I think I am getting better at this knitting thing!

An Unexpected Weekend of Serenity

At my parents. That's right you heard me right, at my parents!! We spent the whole weekend there and it was honestly like being on vacation. They have beautiful property free from all the shit we deal with at our house on a daily basis. We got to sleep with the windows open with no sirens or semi's or headlights coming in. Just fresh air and crickets. My parents took care of everything and my Grandy and I knitted.

Grandy taught me how to cable knit and we made an adorable little hat for my future baby! I have never made or bought anything for the child I long for, but to me something I knit where my sister in law taught me how to knit in the round and my grandmother taught me how to cable is way too special to give away. A little hopeful hat is OK right? I just pray there is a healthy beautiful little head of me and my husband's making to put it on.

More Fun Exchanges

Nail Polish, socks, and candy!! Love it! Gave myself a pedi already.

Priceless

1 box of ovulation predictor tests - $19

Tetracycline, Necon Birth control pills, Azithromycin, Valium, Prenaplus prenatal vitamins, estradiol - $42

Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Ice-cream to help wash down the IF anxiety - $6

The look on the pharmacists face when she asked if I was pregnant - Priceless

Thank You DawnMarie1279!!!!!

It is times like these that make IF bearable! I participated in a sock exchange with the wonderful women on the Trouble Trying to Conceive Board of the Bump, and I got a wonderful, amazing, incredible elf - DawnMarie1279. The letter she wrote to me was so personal and so beautiful, tears came to my eyes. Then the socks were incredible, and to top it all of, she got me the most beautiful frog necklace I have ever seen. I was crying crocodile tears in no time. 

It is hard to see through so much anguish, but there are many ways that our infertility journey has blessed me. One way is the network of incredible and beautiful women that I have met. Thank you DawnMarie, from the bottom of my heart. 

Come out, Come out Wherever You Are!!!

I must admit as others have done that I am a total blog whore! I never thought I would be a blogger, but since our Azoo diagnosis, this place has been a total self-serving and sanity saving venture.

What's crazy is that of my real life peeps that know about our infertility issues, none of them know about my blog, not even my own mother. Yet I love love love sharing it with all of my readers and followers.

I LOVE knowing that others read my random ramblings.

I look at my stats all the time, and I love it when people from new countries visit me! Mr. Scuba gets excited about it to! The support I get from all of you out there is a huge piece of of maintaining my sanity. I got the idea from a fellow blogger Kathy, who has quite the following, to out my lurkers and readers, so here goes!

If you read my blog, tell me about yourself!! How did you find my blog? Is there anything you would like to know about me? Extra points for funny questions!

Love to you all!