My Niece Hates Me

And I think I died a little inside.

We were at my in-laws for memorial day and my sister-in-law had her beautiful 9 month old baby girl with her. I went to pick her up and she burst out crying. I tried to feed her and she wouldn't eat, just cry. When I was holding her bottle for her, she made eye contact with me and just started screaming. The problem was that everyone else was fine for her. I was the ONLY one there that made her cry. She was terrified of me. This is the little girl who loved me when she was first born. Her mother was amazed at how comfortable she was with me then, back when we had no idea what we would have to go through to try to have a child. It's like somehow she knows, somehow my baby niece knows that I may never be a mother.

I could only take this for so long before I had a major bathroom breakdown. I came out with eye-drops to hide the obvious signs of the tears I had just shed. I cried all the way home. Someone please tell me this gets better, please, please!