The Hormones Are Starting to Get to Me

So last night I had a dream that my in real life BFF got pregnant by her boyfriend by accident and had a beautiful baby all before we were able to get pregnant at all. I woke up truly angry and started crying. Then I started thinking about how no one in my real life seems to really get this. I started feeling like I am not getting enough support from those around me who know what is going on, especially my BFF. I was thinking they really just don't get how truly gut wrenching this whole process is. Then I started craving chocolate which I am allergic to which made me cry even more, then I finally cried myself back to sleep.

So that was my first hormone induced bout of craziness! All of the fears and feelings although clearly amplified came from very real places. I really don't think people who have not been through this can possibly understand and I can not blame them for that. They really are there for me and supportive though. Last night I was sitting at the dinner table after a family meal and my Sister-in-law started asking questions about the process and my mother-in-law got in on the conversation and it was nice. It was really nice that they were letting me jabber on and on about what I was going through and how Private Practice isn't a very accurate version of this. They were being so sweet and kind. My family talks to me all the time about this process and is very positive and supportive. My BFF has talked with me a lot about this process and she really has been there for me. It has only been a few days of stims and while for me this is earth shattering, it really is just a few days of shots. I hope she calls to check on me soon, but I know she will, she has always been there for me.

Then I had a dream that a scary duck ate my ring right off my finger and I woke up crying again. Silly hormones!